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Vancouver
Canada

Crash Test Dummy

I let my mind wander sometimes. When the car speeds, I crash.

I imagine, then, what it’s like to really die this time.

February 24, 2011:

I was rushed to the trauma ward at the Vancouver General Hospital after a near-fatal car crash on the sea-to-sky highway. I remember I had taken off my seatbelt [so I could] take off my coat; it was boiling hot in the car. 

The paperwork say I was thrown about thirty feet at high speeds. 

The paperwork say I am lucky to be alive. 

When I woke up, there were hands all over me. There was glass, dirt, blood.

I tasted lots of blood.

It was freezing.

These are the images that came pouring out of me after the first month.

The therapy has helped, but I know Trauma comes in waves.

These images are my way of excising all these irrational fears and insecurities that seem to have emerged long after the highs of having physically survived has worn off.

 (images to come...)